Show Yourself To Me
by What'dIMiss
Summary: Noah thinks his girlfriend is cheating on him. Mal is confined to the inside of Mike's head, and though he can still come out, he doesn't know how. They each use a gifted(or stolen)journal to record their thoughts. Noah decides to call Mike, not knowing Mal is on the other end. AU. Noah and Mike are cousins. Takes place a year after RR. Nal. Rated T for some minor course language
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey look! This ship again!**

 **I've had this written for a while, but I didn't want to post it yet. Then I figured, I have a lot of it pre-written, so I can do the steady-update thing until I run out of chapters. I'll spread them out.**

 **This is the only chapter in this particular format. It starts with Noah's entry and then Mal and then it alternates.**

 **This is the second multi-chap Nal fic on the site and the third overall. All three are written by myself.**

 **The cover was created by me. I don't own the OG pics of Mal and Noah.**

 **There will be no more overly long authors notes.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama, the Ridonculous Race or any of its characters.**

 **Please enjoy!**

Journal,

First time using you. My aunt gave you to me for my 20th birthday, which was a week ago. Not sure WHY, but, whatever.

Ok, here goes...

Being in a long-term relationship should mean the feeling of love and respect is mutual. You both do your part to support the other. You never stray from your responsibilities, or your respect, or your love.

So why is that stuff happening to me?

It's not that Emma isn't respectful of me. It's not that I don't love her. It's just that she doesn't seem to have time for anything except her law career. And I feel as though we're starting to drift away from each other…

Emma's been my girlfriend for at least a year. After the Ridonculous Race, she was all over me, never straying from my side, always there. Now, she's never around. Always at class, or studying, or elsewhere… Sometimes she doesn't come to our shared apartment until very late. She sneaks back in and under the blankets of the bed. She thinks I don't notice, but I do.

I think that Emma's being unfaithful. I'm going to ask her about it tonight. Wish me luck…..

Journal,

This is my first time trying this kind of thing out. I stole you from Mike's bedroom while I was in control. You were a random present from his mom. Haha. He hasn't used you yet, and you're mine now.

So, I'm supposed to write my feelings down or whatever? Ok, here goes…..

My life sucks.

When I have control, there's nothing to do. Sometimes, when I'm really bored, I'll sneak out and set fire to someone's house or steal and break a few things. It doesn't really fill the void, but it keeps me focused on reality and not the storms of emotions that cloud my brain 24/7. I always hear voices.

The other personalities are used to me taking control every once in awhile, but I can't do it willingly like on All-Stars. I still don't know what my so-called "trigger" is, but I need to figure it out, so I can come out when I actually want to.

Wish me luck, I guess…

Journal,

I was right. Emma went back to her old boyfriend. She didn't try to hide it, and said we didn't 'work' anymore. What a bunch of bullshit.

So now, I'm alone. Again. I tried calling Owen, but he was on a date with Izzy. Typical, my two best friends are nowhere to be found.

I tried e-mailing Cody, since he's sort of been through this stuff, but he didn't respond. 'Guess Sierra's after him again. That girl has a few screws loose, I tell ya.

The only other person I can think of calling is...Mike. My cousin with the crazy mental disorder and the half-commando girlfriend. I think he's home right now. Maybe his weird but generally optimistic voice can cheer me up, though I doubt it.

God, I wish Owen was here.

Journal,

So, Mike's nerdy older cousin Noah just called. He said he needed to talk to him. I was in control, so since I had nothing better to do, I imitated Mike and took the call.

And WOW, does this kid have issues. How old is he, 20? Yeesh. You'd think he could take it, but no. I'll give you the jist of what he said:

His year-long girlfriend he met on that awful show, Total Drama, cheated on him with her ex-boyfriend. That's low, even for my standards, and I've tried to kill people.

He choked up a little, and I told him to stop being such a baby and forget about her. Who did she think she was, playing with his emotions like that?

Wait, what? I said that? Over the phone? To a human being whom I've never met in person?

... Anyway, he seemed fine by the end of the call. Did I mention it lasted two hours? Yeah, I know, I couldn't wait to get off. 'Cept I did a lot of the talking… No. I'm not going to think about it.

I wish Mike was here to take over. But I gotta hide you first.

Journal,

Ok, I didn't realize Mike got how much it hurts to be cheated on. He was so… supportive and encouraging. He made me realize I don't need Emma. I was fine without a girlfriend for nineteen years. She doesn't define who I am.

Still, I can't help wondering why Mike said all the things he did. His voice was almost... not his, but it was at the same time. Like he was speaking through someone else, or maybe it's the other way around. I don't know, I'm probably going crazy 'cause I just got dumped and my overall cognitive functioning is whacked out. I'm gonna go lie down and think this over.

Journal,

Mike found out I was using you. He took you and hid you so I couldn't use you, but he didn't say why. I eventually found you by grabbing the memory of him hiding you.

So, yeah, that happened. And I wrote 'you' too many times. Never been the best writer.

It's been a few weeks, but I can't stop thinking about that conversation with Noah. It's weird.

Maybe it's the way he spoke. He was...destroyed. Like he had been crushed, and couldn't get back up again, which normally would have led me to throw sarcastic and callous insults at him, but...nothing.

His voice was quieter than most 20-year olds would probably want to admit, but it wasn't annoying. It was actually pleasant. And it had a graininess to it that kind of mirrors mine a little. Just a little. His was higher pitched. But it was still nice…

And what did I say? Nothing but an encouraging, sympathetic, heck EMPATHETIC speech, which is the opposite of me. I don't know what it was. Maybe his patheticness cast a spell on me or something.

I'm going to go back in and think this over. Maybe Mike could talk to him for real for me.

Journal,

I'm going to call Mike again. I really need to hear his voice. I'm not sure why, it's annoying as heck, but screw common sense(in this case, my hearing).

Journal,

Ok, he's calling again. Oh god.

I'm going to take it. I need to hear his voice again.

Journal,

Ok, just got off the phone again with Mike. It was, again, great.

Somehow the conversation went to Total Drama. I have to say, he has this strange... _passion_ when he talks about the show. Like he needs to prove something. He won, didn't he? He got his personalities under control. He didn't need anything more, right? He doesn't think so. For an hour, maybe, all these elaborate plans to get back at Alejandro, and Duncan… Not gonna lie, I was impressed he had the guts to tell me that stuff. I couldn't help but lend my own two-sense into the plans. He seemed to appreciate it.

Again, he didn't really sound like Mike, more so this time. His voice was actually lower, more gravelly. It was kind of suspicious, but I'm trying to ignore it.

Journal,

I spilled.

I spilled my wondrously evil plans of revenge to him. Why? _How?_ Am I that weak?

l let my voice slip a little. I'm an idiot. If he found out I'm not Mike…

Nope, not going to happen. It won't again.

Journal,

That was one of the best and worst phone conversations I've ever had. It barely beats out the one from Sierra thinking I was Cody for some messed up reason.

It was Mal. Mike was Mal the whole time. And I don't feel weird about it at all. I can't believe he still talked after changing his voice.

The craziest thing of all is, I wasn't even scared...

Journal,

I blew it. I totally blew it.

God, I'm an idiot of an evil personality! Might as well change my name to the Idiotic One!

I can't believe he got me to talk in my own voice instead of Mike's. I can't believe he still talked afterwards. He wasn't even scared….

Journal,

I don't know what to do at this point. Maybe I should take a few days off school to visit Mike. Mal. Whoever it is. To get the facts straight. We need to settle this in person.

I just hope Mike doesn't find out. I love having those conversations, and I want to continue having them, even if it's with Mal.

Journal,

I don't know what to do at this point. Maybe I should just forget about the whole thing, and focus on finding my trigger.

Lately, I've been taking over more often. The other personalities aren't happy about it, especially Mike. But they don't know about my phone conversations with Noah. Which is good.

I wonder if he's thinking about it too. I hope Mike doesn't get smart and stop… whatever this is. I'm not really sure. But I genuinely enjoy it.

 **Please review. It is always appreciated. See you next time!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Here's chapter two!**

 **Please enjoy. :)**

Mike searched everywhere for his journal. "Where the heck did he put it?!" He wondered aloud, as he turned his bedroom upside down.

After an hour of searching, he gave up. He spent another hour reverting it back, then laying on his bed and closing his eyes to enter the subconscious.

He immediately left the main room with the card table and the picture of himself to go farther out. He eventually walked up to a black and purple tower, similar to the one that was destroyed during All-Stars but smaller. He walked up a few flights of stairs to the room at the top. Mal was laying on his throne, picking his nails, with one ankle chained to the side of his seat and the other leg draped over an armrest.

He looked up and saw Mike. He sat up and faced him. "Ah! Mike! _Always_ a displeasure. What can I _not_ do for you on this fine day?" He said this one part sarcastically and one part cheerfully.

"Where did you hide my journal, Mal?" Mike asked.

"Whatever do you mean?"

Mike took a deep breath. "Look, I know you've been using it. And I want it back. It was _my_ present."

Mal frowned. He them smirked and shook his head. "Sorry, I'm afraid I can't do that. I've grown quite attached to it."

"Mal, as the owner of this mind and body, and that journal, I will ask one more time: give it back!"

"No!" Mal said with conviction. "I'm not giving it to you."

Mike's confidence deflated, and his shoulders slumped. He crossed his arms. "Can you at least tell me why that journal is so important? You seem more...I don't know, _passionate_ about it than anything, other than your pocket knife."

Mal couldn't really explain it, but being able to write down his thoughts gave him a place to wonder and think without everyone else poking in his face. He then told this to Mike, who just stared.

"Wow. Didn't think you'd feel that way… I'm sorry. You can keep it." Mike gave in.

Mal smiled a little. "Thanks, Mike."

He then heard the phone ringing outside. Then Mike's mom yelling, "Mike! It's your cousin Noah again!"

Mike suddenly was confused. He looked back at Mal. "He's been calling?"

Mal shrugged, trying to be nonchalant as he looked away, back to picking his nails.

Mike narrowed his eyes. "I'm going to take it."

Mal's eyes widened. "Uh...Maybe I should take it?"

"Why you?"

"No reason. It's fun to torture people over the phone, y'know?" And Mal felt his chain dissipating. He was surprised as he also dissipated, which he did when he was being forced into control. But this time, he wasn't taking control away from anyone.

Mal woke. He stood up and walked over to the phone, ignoring Mike's mom's horrified stares as he snatched it and glared at her with his one uncovered eye. She put her hands up and walked away.

Mal held the phone and pressed the 'talk' button. He put it up to his ear. "...Hello?" He said, in Mike's voice.

"Drop the act, I know it's you, Mal." Noah immediately said, slightly irritated.

"Woah, ok, sheesh." Mal replied, returning his voice to its deep and grainy tone. "What is it?"

He heard Noah sigh. "Look, I think we need to talk about...us."

"Us?" They were an us? Wow.

"Yes, and this whole…. thing we have. I'm coming over there this weekend. To hell with keeping up with academics, I finished my homework for the next two weeks on Wednesday. Take that, Courtney." And Mal could almost see the smirk on Noah's face as he said it. He too smiled.

"Sure. But don't expect it to go anywhere," Mal said.

"I think I'm going to bring my journal…" Noah started to drift off the phone.

"You have a journal?" Mal asked.

"Yeah, Mike's-well, I guess she's your mom too- gave it to me for my birthday." Noah was silent. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, uh...no reason." Mal quickly said.

"Ok. But I'm onto you, Malevolent One." He said it playfully.

Mal smiled. "Look forward to it." He said suavely.

Oh shit, he'd said that. He mentally slapped himself.

 _Ow!_ went the other personalities.

Noah was silent. Then he stuttered. "Yeah, totally, uh, so I'll see you then, I guess. Bye." And he hung up.

Mal put the phone back in the holding thing. He went back to Mike's bed with a smile on his face as he reentered the subconscious.

 **Please review! See you next time!:)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Next chapter.**

 **Please enjoy. :)**

Noah walked up to the house, a satchel slung over his shoulder containing his journal. He had driven down from college for two hours to get there. He knocked on the door.

Mike opened the door. "Noah? What are you doing here?"

"Oh, uh, hi Mike. It's a long story I'd rather divulge at a later date. Right now, I just need you to let me in." He stepped into the house and shed his jacket. He threw it on a rack.

"Ok…. but, this isn't like you to just show up out of nowhere."

"Technically, you knew I was coming."

"Technically?"

Noah shrugged.

Mike narrowed his eyes. "Excuse me for a moment, I need to speak with my personalities."

"By all means. I'll just wait for you not to continue wasting my time."

Mike ran to his bedroom and entered the subconscious again.

"Ok, who invited Noah and didn't tell me?!" Mike immediately said as he marched into the main room where Vito, Chester, Svetlana and Manitoba were playing Go Fish.

"Wasn't me, ya ninny."

"Ey yo, I didn't call nobody 'ere. He's the nerd one, right?"

"Svetlana does enjoy ze company of your family, but she did not invite Noah here."

"Mate, if I'da invited one of your cousins here, it wouldn'a been Noah! He's got no appetite for adventure!"

"Ok, I'll go ask , guys." He walked back to the tower, and back up the stairs. And there Mal was, this time just pretending to be asleep when he didn't really need it.

"Mal. Did you get Noah to come here?"

"Ohmygod, yes. Enough with your questions. You come up here like you don't already know the answers." And then chain began to fade along with him. Mal smirked. "See you later, Mike."

"Wait! But-how…" Mike was left alone in the dark tower. He sighed and left.

 **Please review, and see you next time.:)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Here's my favorite chapter. You'll see why as you read it.**

 **Enjoy.:)**

Mal woke up and figured, hey, might as well look the part if I'm gonna be talking to this kid in real life. So, keeping Vito down, as he was able to, he pulled off Mike's green t-shirt and exchanged it for a black one that was sort of shiny. It had flames printed on the sleeves, and it hugged him in the torso a little, but not too much. He had once convinced Mike to buy it for him. He could be very persuasive.

He traded blue jeans for black ones, and kept his feet bare. Not sure why, but he looked in the mirror and ran a hand through his hair so it fell where he wanted it to. He looked himself over one more time. He looked good. _Really_ good.

He turned, found his journal in it's hiding place, and went to the living room, where Noah was waiting with his arms crossed and looking out the window. Mal would never admit that he stared.

Noah turned his head and faced Mal. He was wearing an emerald green-sapphire blue striped polo under a blood red sweater vest, and black pants. He had displaced his shoes. His brown hair was out of his face, and his brown eyes shone like chocolate diamonds. Now enough with the precious stones, sheesh!

"Hey."

"Hi." Nonchalant. Mal didn't want to come off as weak, vulnerable.

"So… Let's get on with it."

"Yeah." Mal sat on the couch. Noah decided to sit opposite him in a chair.

"Do you, uh...have your journal?" Mal asked.

Noah nodded and took it out of his bag.

Mal showed his. They both smiled at each other. Well, they smirked.

"What do you use it for?"

"My thoughts. It's sometimes better to write than telling them all out loud."

"Me too."

"Huh. Can I see?" Noah offered his notebook. "You can see mine."

They exchanged notebooks. They were both surprised at each other's thoughts which mirrored their own. They read at the same pace, unknowingly turning the pages in sync. They finished and shut the books. They looked at each other. "Wow," They both whispered under their breath.

"Well, this was an interesting journey of self-discovery," Noah decided.

"Mmhmm. So, what now?"

"I don't really know. Does it mean something?" Noah stared at Mal.

"I think it does." And Mal stood, dropping Noah's journal on the couch. Noah impulsively stood as well, dropping Mal's. Mal stepped towards him. There wasn't much space between them now.

"Does this mean…."

"Yes." Mal smiled devilishly.

When Noah now stepped to Mal, the gap closed, and their lips were now interlocked.

Noah had kissed Emma, and it had been nice, but this.. this was something else. It felt like something had been missing before, and this brought the search to an end. Noah closed his eyes and felt into the kiss as Mal wrapped his strong arms around him and pulled him closer. Noah put his hands on Mal's waist.

The kiss got deeper, more passionate, and when they pulled away from each other, they were both breathing hard and smiling. Mal's eyes were wide, but not in a bad or surprised way, more a 'that just happened' way. His hair was swept a little away from his left eye, and he suddenly looked….vulnerable. But in a good way.

He sat down back on the couch. "I think this belongs to you." He handed the journal back. Noah did the same and sat back on the chair, his face red.

"I couldn't help but notice what you wrote, is mirroring what I did." Mal started.

Noah's coloring returned to normal, and he spoke clearly. "Me neither. It's strange. We have the exact same thoughts about each other, yet we don't have much in common at all."

"Well, not exactly. We both don't have the most...positive outlooks on life." Mal smiled. "And we both think everyone else is idiotic and undeserving of our attention."

"You're not." Noah said quickly. "Honest."

Mal chuckled a little. "I know. I wasn't sure about you at first, but then you started sounding less heartbroken and more like...I don't know, but your voice became stronger. More sure of itself."

Noah laughed a little nervously. "Yours too. I could tell you weren't Mike when your voice started to change. His voice is annoying, but yours is…. it's beautiful. I don't get why you tried to hide it behind Mike's."

Mal looked down. "I don't like hiding my voice. It terrifies people, and I do love watching someone hear me and try to run for the nearest exit." Pause. "Mike's voice is easy to replicate, so I use it when I need or want people to trust me. They won't if I'm myself, if I use my voice." He looked back up. "And I didn't want you hanging up because you heard me speak." He felt a tear drop from his eye. What?! Mal never cried. Ever. Nothing could make him sad. He didn't feel remorse if he was slashing a knife through someone. Why was he crying now?

Noah saw Mal starting to cry. He related to how he felt, and felt his own tears coming to surface. He wiped one away. "You're not the only one who feels the need to hide behind a facade..." He started.

"You?" Mal asked.

Noah nodded. "All my sarcasm, it's just a shield. I don't want people to see me as weak. So I hide any real emotions I do have with with rude, cold-hearted remarks." He sighed. "It's not even my fault. I'm afraid…"

"You're afraid of what?"

"Everyone. Judging me for who I am."

Mal could understand that. That's why he silenced those people before they got the chance to get too close."..And you're not afraid of me? Not even my voice…?"

"I have no reason to be afraid of you."

"Really?" Hearing anyone else say that would give Mal the impulse to slice them in half, if only to prove them wrong about him. Hearing Noah say it, though… He didn't. He was relieved.

"And...I like you too much to fear you, no matter what you've done or how much you might try to make me. Being afraid...it would be like I'm scared of myself. And I can't live that way. No one should."

Mal took a deep breath. He exhaled slowly. "You're right. No one should fear themselves, only have people fear them."

"Please, every imbecile on the street should be afraid of you. You try too hard for them not to notice how formidable you can be." Noah smirked.

Mal blushed and looked down, smiling. "Thanks. I try."

"I know you do." Noah got up, walked over to the couch, and sat down next to Mal, resting his head against the back of the couch. He slowly moved his hand over Mal's and squeezed it. He smiled.

Mal looked at Noah from the side, and then his hand on top of his. He waited for him to say something.

Noah, for once in his life, didn't have the need to speak. He was happy to be sitting next to Mal in silence, and as he put his head on Mal's shoulder, he felt at peace with himself. He closed his eyes and continued to smile.

Mal slowly put his arm around Noah's shoulders. He looked out the window, then back at Noah.

He couldn't stand the eerie silence any longer. He kissed Noah lightly on the forehead. "I hope we can...see each other more. In person. Phone calls are nice, but this, this is better." He whispered.

"Maybe… I can drive down every once in awhile from college. I get work done quickly, it shouldn't be a problem." Noah murmured quietly, tracing over Mal's thigh with his finger. It made Mal shiver.

He thought about it for a minute. "I'm worried about Mike finding out."

"Why?" Noah was suddenly concerned, picking his head up and facing Mal again, keeping his hand on his leg.

"I don't know… Never mind. It's not worth my brain power to think about." Mal smiled reassuringly. It really didn't matter to him what Mike or anyone else would think. Still, he'd make sure no one found out. For Noah's sake more than his.

Noah saw Mal's smile, and it had its intended effect. He smiled back, put his head back on Mal's shoulder and left his eyes half-open. He wouldn't waste brain space to think about it either. He was tired. He'd had a lot happen to him in a span of...less than an hour. He finally close his eyes and let sleep come.

Mal would've slept too, but he couldn't. He never did, never had to. So he closed his eyes instead, letting Noah's warmth envelop him.

 **I make no apologies.:3**

 **PLEASE review this. See you next time.:)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Short chapter!**

 **Enjoy!**

Noah woke up on the couch a few hours later, when it was nighttime. He was in a weird position, most likely because Mal had gotten up at some point. He sat up and realized there was a blanket on top of him. He shook it off, stood, and rubbed his eyes. "Some of the best sleep I've had in awhile…" He thought quietly to himself.

Mike woke up in bed, his hair over his eye. He stretched and rubbed his eyes. "-Huh? Oh right, the whole thing with Noah being here for whatever reason. I should probably go down there." He then got up, but looked in the mirror and realized what he was wearing. "What the- _Mal_!" He quickly shed the black ensemble and put his green shirt and blue jeans back on. "I can't believe you would wear that in front of my cousin-no, wait, I can. To scare him."

Mal was just evil-laughing his head off inside the subconscious. "You are so cluelessly ignorant, Mike. You underestimate him."

Mike ignored Mal's insult. He spiked his hair back up and went to the living room. Noah was putting his jacket on. "Noah? Why are you leaving? You just got here, and it's late!"

Noah looked through Mike as he shrugged and walked out the door. Or maybe he was looking into him…

Mike shook his head. This was too confusing. He needed to sleep on it. But he was hungry. "Mom?"

Mike's mom reappeared from her room. She looked at him once and breathed a sigh of relief. "Yes, Mike?"

"What's for dinner?" Mike was curious about his mother's reaction to seeing him.

"Oh! Right. Dinner. Sorry I haven't been able to be upstairs in awhile. I'll get right on it." And she rushed to the kitchen.

Mike raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything more.

Noah drove the two hours back to college in the dark. When he got back to his dorm, he couldn't dream of falling asleep, so he decided to start on his work for three weeks from then. He soon realized he couldn't concentrate, because he was thinking about Mal.

"I'm sure he'll be awake. He doesn't do sleep."

He picked up his phone and called Mike's number.

"Hello?"

"Mike?!" He hung up.

 **Please review! First reviewer gets a gold star. :) Until next time!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Next chapter! It's long and has all the personalities(and I mean all of them.)**

 **Enjoy!**

Mike put the phone down. "That was weird." He went back to bed.

As he walked back again to Mal's tower, he couldn't help but wonder why Noah would call, then immediately hang up when he heard his voice.

"Stop taking my calls. I'll make you regret it," Mal said as Mike entered. Somehow, he was still dressed in the black outfit he had been when he had control. His arms were crossed and he looked annoyed.

"Hey, he's the one who called in the middle of the night. What do you want me to do?"

"Uh, let _me_ take it?"

"Why? You don't like people. You like hurting them."

Mal was silent. He looked at the floor, and his ankle chain which had started to vaporize, but he didn't. His eye widened.

Mike continued. "Is there something going on between you two? Because if there is-"

"No, there's nothing!" Mal denied, standing up, no longer bound. "Absolutely nothing is happening with me and Noah."

Mike was confused. Why did Mal's chain break?

"Get out before I have to push you down the stairs myself," Mal growled.

Mike put his hands up. "Woah! Ok, sheesh. I was just asking." He turned to go, but he stopped. "Would be nice for you to be able to talk to people without trying to kill them later."

Mal said nothing. He just crossed his arms again and glared.

Mike left the tower, still very suspicious. He walked back to the main room. His other personalities were just hanging around. Manitoba was telling Svetlana and Vito a story about wrangling a snake in Australia.

"So I had the critter in my hands, tied in a good knot, when it suddenly tries to bite my hand off! It was all I could do not to try an' strangle it to death, but I wanted to keep it alive. Not one for killing much."

"That was a nice story, Mani. Now, Svetlana will tell you about the time she won at the Olympics!"

"Svet, you always tell that one. Can't you talk about somethin' else?"

"Like vhat? Gymnastics are Svetlana's favorite thing to do when she has ze control."

"I don't know. Never mind, you can talk 'bout whatever you want, Sheila."

Svetlana smiled. "Svetlana thanks you, Mani. She likes your stories about the snakes and the animals you don't kill."

"Thanks, Svet. Nice to know someone does."

"Ey yo, I'm ok with your stories. But I'd rather be somewhere else, ya know?" Vito interjected.

"Believe me, mate, we ALL do." Mani rolled his eyes.

"Yes, sometimes it could be nice for Svetlana to get control again, and not Mal."

They all shuddered at the mention of his name. They hadn't actually talked to him for awhile, but they knew he had been taking control more frequently, and were certainly not happy about it.

"Yeah, well, it's gonna be even worse now. Mal somehow broke loose." Mike entered the conversation. They hadn't notice his presence before.

"Oh, hello Mi- wait WHAT?"

"For real, bro? Tell me you're joking, right? You're joking."

"Aw, that little whippersnapper's gonna lock us all up again, isn't he? Shoulda beat him in while we had the chance." Chester had woken up from his nap.

"Calm down, mates. We've dealt with him before in here, I'm sure we can do it again-"

"Don't bother. He doesn't want that anymore." Mike cut back in.

"Then how'd 'is chain break?! It only does when he goes out, right?" Mani asked frantically.

Mike shrugged. "I don't know. He seemed as surprised as you. Then he kicked me out of his tower. I think he wants to be left alone."

"You know, Svetlana feels ze sadness for Mal sometimes. He's so lonely out there vith no one else."

"He seemed fine to me. Except when he was in denial…"

"I wasn't in denial."

They all turned and saw Mal standing in the doorway. He was leaning against the wall and still has his arms crossed over his chest. They all gasped.

"What are you doing here, Mal? You're not welcome." They all seemed to say at once, except for Mike, who just sighed.

"I know I'm not welcome, and I know I should be chained to a throne in my lovely tower right now, but as you obviously can't tell, it vanished." He snapped his fingers. "Gone. All of it. The tower, the chain."

"What? But-how?" Mike asked. "You're not able to do that kind of thing anymore."

Mal shrugged. "Guess your mind gave me a get-out-of-jail free card. Not sure _why_ …" Then he shut his mouth, like he did know.

Mike narrowed his eyes, and so did Mani. "I think you are sure why. This has to do with those phone calls, doesn't it?"

"Still don't know what you're talking about." Mal averted eye-contact with Mike.

"You're usually a pretty good liar, but right now it's not working. Fess up."

Mal sighed. "Fine. But not in front of them." He gestured to the other personalities. They all looked offended.

"Why not? We are all in the same mind," Svetlana asked.

"She's right, bro, there ain't no reason for us NOT to hear it," Vito agreed.

"Crikey, mate, whatever secret you got, I'm sure we can take it," Manitoba assured him.

"Ah, young people today and their pride. Bah! Back in my day, you'd get beaten for keepin' secrets!" Chester yelled.

"That's a lie, and no, you can't. Only Mike has the right to know." And Mal turned and walked out into the mindscape.

Mike looked at his personalities, who looked at him with concern and a little fear at what might happen. He shrugged and followed Mal out.

 **Please review! See you next time!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Yo, update!**

 **Thanks to aquawrym(guest) for reviewing the last chapter. :)**

 **Quick note/disclaimer: Harris is my OC. He's the only character here I own.**

 **Enjoy!**

Mal walked far out into the mindscape, close to where his tower had been. He let Mike catch up and faced him.

"So, ready to admit it?" Mike asked.

Mal closed his eyes, breathed deeply, then looked back at Mike. "Yes, I'm in love with Noah. And no, I'm not ashamed of it."

"I wouldn't expect you to be ashamed of it." Mike walked up and gently hugged his evil alternate.

Mal was surprised by the hug. It was totally unexpected. He didn't say or do anything.

Mike pulled out of the hug. He backed up, still smiling.

"Uh...what was _that_ for?" Mal asked.

Mike put his hand on Mal's shoulder. "I'm happy for you, Mal. You've never been this...I don't know, passive-aggressive. You're not nearly as intense as you were before. Maybe this is a good thing for you, and for Noah."

"Really? You're not mad I like your-our-cousin?"

"As long as you two don't- you know, do it, I'm fine with you seeing each other."

Mal smiled a little. But then he realized something. "You don't think I'm- going soft, do you?" He didn't want Mike to think that. He had a rep he needed to uphold.

Mike shook his head. "No, of course not! You're still the Malevolent One, and you always will be. You just...have more emotion, that's all."

Mal was relieved. He stepped toward Mike and gave him a quick hug. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For...well, this."

Mike smiled. "No problem."

0-0

Noah had been freaking out in the hours until the sun rose. Mike was surely getting more suspicious after that call. He wondered if he had gotten Mal to talk, and what he'd said.

"I'm sure it'll be fine. We're going to be fine…" He said to himself as he paced.

Noah's roommate, Harris, had woken up. He stretched and rubbed his green eyes. "Morning, nerd whom I have the displeasure of rooming with. Pull another all-nighter? Give it a rest, it's the weekend." His red shirt was pulled up just a smidge so his flat stomach was showing. He sat up on his bed.

"No, I did not, punk who could take a hint about his personal hygiene, and is somehow equally as smart as I am." Pause. "Well, sort of…"

"Oh, really? Spill." Harris liked to get the details of other people's social or romantic lives, since he barely had one himself. Noah's was one of the most interesting, especially with him having gone from having his own apartment to staying in a dorm.

"Um, it's a long story. And you have to finish that essay for History, remember?" Noah always was on Harris' back about finishing homework. Mostly to rub it in his face when he finished weeks ahead.

"I'll write it up later. I got time." Harris shrugged. He knew this aggravated Noah to no end. He crossed his arms. "Now spill."

"Ugh, fine. But don't tell anyone."

"You know I don't have anyone to tell. You have more friends than I do, though that's because of those shows you were on way back."

Noah took a deep breath. "Ok. Here goes…" And so he told his roommate the whole story.

Harris was a lot of things, but he wasn't one to interrupt a story like the one Noah was telling. He nodded throughout. When he was finished, Harris was speechless. "Wow. That's rough." He ran a finger through his bangs. It ended up covering his eye a little. His left eye.

This irritated Noah a little. "Could you, uh...move your hair off your eye?"

"Uh, no, this is how I like it. C'mon dude, you know that."

"I do. But… it's bothering me a little."

Harris remembered what Noah said and smirked. "Right, because your boyfriend has it over his left-"

"He is NOT my boyfriend!" Noah uselessly denied.

"Man, of course he's your boyfriend, the way you talk about 'im. And anyway, what else would you call him? Your apparently exceedingly hot, evil phone-bud whom happen to have kissed? That's just makes it more complicated than it needs to be."

Noah sighed. "Fine. Whatever you say. But I don't know he thinks that. We haven't gone on...a date or anything. And I don't think that'll ever happen ever."

"Why not?"

"Mike has a girlfriend, and one of his other alternates does too."

"Yeah, that complicates it. Hmmm." Harris put his fist on his chin, thinking for a moment. He then clapped his hands once. "I've got it. Just go over there and work it out with them."

"Really? But they hate each other. I don't think they'd want to deal with it."

"Then, my not-good-but-only-friend, I have nothing for you." Harris stood up and walked out, probably to get ready for...whatever he did on Sundays. Noah didn't know.

"Wait- but- ugh. Typical Harris." Noah rolled his eyes, then yawned. He was finally tired again, so he change into pajamas and got into his bed. He fell asleep, but it wasn't nearly as restful as it had been before when he was with Mal, even though he was now in comfortable clothing and laying on his back . He wouldn't ever admit to anyone he dreamed about him.

 **Please review! See you next time.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Shortish chapter!**

 **Enjoy!**

Mal called Noah that night. "He knows," was the first thing he said when Noah picked up.

"What? He figured it out?"

"I told him."

Noah facepalmed. But then, he'd told someone too. So they were both equally guilty, he figured. "I told my roommate. But he's alright about it."

Mal seemed a bit ticked, but he covered it up decently."The other personalities don't know, just Mike."

"Doesn't one of them have a girlfriend? I know about Zoey." They'd never met, of course, but Noah had watched Revenge of the Island to see his old castmates get humiliated again. That was some drama. He was clarifying if that Italian meathead and Jersey chick were still together.

"Yeah, Vito does. Those two don't like each other, of course, after all that shit that went down on Revenge of the Island. Zoey's boring as hell and Anne Maria's annoying."

"Ugh, I'm probably going to have to get acquainted with them at some point, aren't I?" Noah asked disdainfully. He didn't mention this bring his roommate's suggestion.

"Yeah, if this is ever going to work, us seeing each other the way we now are."

Noah groaned. "If I have to…"

"Don't worry, I'll make sure it doesn't get out of hand."

Noah couldn't help but smile at how serious Mal sounded. "Alright."

They'd talked for a few more minutes before they hung up. Mal went back into the subconscious. "Mike. Let's talk. Now."

The other personalities looked concerned. "You guys aren't involved here. Except maybe Vito," Mal continued.

"What's it got to do with me, yo?" Vito asked, confused.

"You'll find out soon enough."

Mike shrugged at Vito and followed Mal out.

Mal explained his phone call with Noah. Mike just nodded. "I'll talk to Zoey, and I'll ask Vito to talk to Anne Maria."

"Good." Mal walked off. He now had his own space in the main room of the subconscious, where all the personalities hung around. He walked past the card table, where the painting of Mike hung tall and almost mockingly in front of him him. He shook his head and continued on.

His room was in the back, as it had recently appeared. It was fairly simple in design, which suited Mal just fine. There wasn't even a bed, since he didn't sleep. Just a small shiny black table, a black dresser, a black-and-purple beanbag chair and a picture of his tower on the royal purple-painted wall. He supposed Mike's mind wanted him to find entertainment with the others by not providing him with his own, though as to how or why, he was still figuring out.

He would miss some of quiet that came with being in his tower, but he'd enjoy total freedom from his chains for the first time in forever.

The other personalities were curious as Mike pulled Vito aside after coming back. "What is up with Mal these days? And what have you got to do with it, Vito?" Manitoba asked.

Vito shrugged. "Not my story to tell, yo. Ask him yourself."

Mike also shrugged apologetically before going to take control.

 **Please review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Ey I finally finished writing this chapter! Woo!**

 **Please enjoy it.**

Mal figured he'd listen in on Mike and Zoey's conversation. It was after school that Monday.

"No way. Mal is- are you joking?" Zoey reacted when Mike told her.

"I'm not. But Mal's not going to be there when you meet him, so you don't have to worry about that."

"Speak for yourself, Mike," Mal muttered.

"I don't know… I watched Total Drama's first few seasons. Noah wasn't exactly the friendliest guy on the show. I wonder what Mal sees in him." Zoey shook her head. "But Noah seemed to turn that around on the Ridonculous Race, so I guess he's got some different sides to him." She sighed. "I'm not looking forward to Anne Maria hearing all of this…"

"About the Ridonculous Race...Mal asked me to ask you to not mention it? Noah's ex was on that show with him, it's where they met."

"Oh, you mean Emma? I always thought they were so cute together."

"You have no idea, do you?" Mal had been brought out and didn't try to hide it.

Zoey shut her mouth. She looked scared.

"Emma cheated on Noah, you imbecilic girl." Mal was glaring at her.

Zoey took a deep breath. "Sorry, Mal, I didn't know. I won't say anything, not unless he brings it up."

"You'd better not."

Mike regained control suddenly and got his hair out of his face. "Sorry about that," he said apologetically.

"He really does like him, doesn't he?" Zoey asked.

Mike nodded.

"When's Noah coming around then?"

"He's in college, so he can't come during the week. He should be able to come this weekend."

Zoey nodded.

Mike stood up from the couch, where he'd been sitting. "Alright, you should probably go. Anne Maria's gonna be here soon."

"Ok." Zoey got up and kissed Mike on the cheek. "Tell Mal I'm happy he found someone."

Mike smiled. "Hear that, Mal?" he asked him.

"I have ears, of course I heard it." Mal rolled his eyes inside the mind.

"See you later, then." Zoey had a half-hour drive back to her house.

"See you."

Zoey left, and Mike heard her car pull away. Not five minutes later, he heard the roar of a sports car pull up to the house. Anne Maria strode out, looking garish as ever.

"Did I just see Pigtails in that heap of trash she calls a vehicle?" Anne Maria asked Mike when he opened the door.

"This isn't about Zoey. Just come in." Mike was getting a tad ticked off at her already.

"Where's my man? I know you ain't him." Anne Maria crossed her fake-tanned arms.

"He's coming, give me a minute." Mike went to his bedroom and took his t-shirt off. Vito was brought out. "Get straight to the point, Vito. No messing around."

"Aw, bro, not even a little? We don't see each other much."

"Sorry, maybe some other time. But right now, we need this to work. I'll make it up to you guys."

"Yeah Vito, don't screw up," Mal cut it.

"Yo, relax. I got it."

Vito went back to the living room where Anne Maria had been waiting. She saw him and smiled. "Vito!" She ran over and kissed him on the lips. "I missed you, baby."

Vito kissed her back briefly, wanting it to last longer, but remembered why she was here in the first place. "Ey, I need to ask you some stuff."

"Sure, Vito, what is it?" Ann Maria had one arm around his torso, a hand on his abs.

Vito told her the whole thing and she looked at him like he was crazy. "What do I care about that psycho dude? He nearly killed people! That ain't cool. And Pasty is the last girl I wanna talk to right now. She keeps me and ma man apart."

"I don't like her much either. But figuring all this weird stuff out might get us more time for this." Vito kissed her.

They kissed for a while, then Anne Maria finally agreed. "Aight, fine. I'll come over again this weekend. But he better not be some creepo or I'm bookin it."

"Ey, he's alright."

Mike was impatiently tapping his foot on the other side of the mirror, and Mal was rolling his eyes. "Hurry up, Vito," Mike said.

Vito kissed his girlfriend once more quickly. "Mike's protesting, yo. Got to head back."

"Don't go too far," Anne Maria said. She left minutes later.

The three guys, Mike, Mal, and Vito, all went to bed content that their respective boyfriend or girlfriend would be okay with the other two. Well, Mal didn't sleep. He lay down on his beanbag chair and relaxed.

The other three personalities were confused, of course, but they didn't worry. Mal was behaving. That was enough to keep them from asking too many questions.

 **Please review! See you next update!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: *falls to knees* I FINALLY GOT THIS DONE!**

 **This chapters been in the works for months now. Please enjoy it. :)**

 **Thanks to GirlDog321 for reviewing the last chapter. :)**

 **I'll say it again: enjoy!**

The week whizzed by and soon enough Noah was driving himself back to Mike's house, ever so slightly nervous. He received a text from Mike's number saying to go to the park not far from the house instead, while he was at a red light. Noah shrugged and drove to that park.

Zoey was already there, pacing back and forth, trying to collect her thoughts. As Noah walked towards her hesitantly after parking in the nearest lot, book in his hand, she barely recognized him from the show and waved. Noah just nodded curtly and closed most of the distance between them. "Where's Spray Can?" he asked, bored.

"She's not here yet, probably putting on makeup or doing her hair."

"If that's the case we'll be here forever. But whatever, I have a test in two weeks to study for." Noah walked to and sat on a bench close by and opened his book, beginning to drink up the information.

Zoey walked over and slowly sat next to him. "Um...I'm Zoey," she figured to introduce herself.

"I know," Noah replied dryly. "I watched the show." He went back to reading his book.

Zoey slowly frowned, and closed his book. Noah looked up and glared at her. "Do you have a grievance you wish to share?" he asked with an annoyed eyebrow raised.

"Yeah. Why aren't you trying to make conversation, we're both here for the same reason and we might as well start now," Zoey asked, irritated. "Anne Maria will just contradict everything either of us says until she gets what she wants and that isn't going to-" she covered her mouth. "That just slipped out...I'm sorry." Her face grew red in embarrassment.

"Don't be, you just earned yourself a few extra points." Noah clapped slowly.

Zoey nodded, slighlty confused.

Noah thought about it. "I suppose maybe we could start talking about it now."

Zoey smiled. "Great! This'll be over quickly and you can go back to doing whatever you do in college."

"Study, ignore my roommate, go to class, study…" Noah shrugged.

"Don't you do anything fun?"

"Until last week, nah," Noah waved it off.

"Right, that was when you and Mal met in person…"

"How much do you know?"

"I know you and him hooked up. I don't know how it happened or anything, Mike told me about it."

Noah nodded, suddenly getting a bit of a dreamy look on his face.

"Are you okay?" Zoey asked, seeing the drastic change in his expression.

Noah snapped out of it. "Yes, I'm perfectly fine."

Zoey smirked a little. "You really like him."

"I wouldn't be here right now if I didn't, now would I?"

"Fair point."

That was when Anne Maria's car pulled into the park obnoxiously and Anne Maria stepped out. "Aight, let's get it ovah with," she said upon seeing them. "Ew, what are you wearing?" she asked Noah upon seeing his outfit.

"It's called a sweater vest, Spraycan," he replied dryly.

"It's ugly, take it off."

"No, I like it." Noah crossed his arms, book in one hand.

"Ugh, do we really have to share with him?" Anne Maria looked Zoey, a bit whiny and irritated.

"Yes, get over it." Zoey crossed her arms. "And stop acting like a five year old."

"Another point to Zoey." Noah smirked.

"Shut it, loser. Let's just talk already." Anne Maria put a hand on her hip and stared at them. "Well?"

"We need to work this out. I see Mike more than both of you see your respective boyfriends and I don't think that's really fair," Zoey started.

"Damn right it's not! I don't get no time to be with my Vito and you and Mike are like, joined together at the hip!" Anne Maria huffed.

Noah said nothing in response; this was their personal squabble he didn't need to be involved with yet.

"We are not," Zoey denied. "And that's what this is for. Us all getting equal time, more or less."

"Um, pardon me, but that isn't statistically possibly until summer," Noah cut it. "I can only come down here on the weekends."

Zoey thought on that. "Then we do it by weekends," she suggested.

The other two raised their eyebrows.

"We commit to an order where we get time to be with whoever we're with for a weekend. It prevents inequality and fighting," Zoey explained.

"It's possible...but how would we order it?" Noah inquired.

"Maybe we start next weekend with Anne Maria getting the first go."

"Uh, no, I should get to go first, I've barely spent any time ever with Mal," Noah contradicted. He crossed his arms.

"Okay fine, you can go first then-"

"Aw hell no! You just said I could go first!" Anne Maria objected.

The three of them started bickering for a while. Finally Zoey yelled, "Shut up, both of you!" She was angry and showed it.

Noah and Anne Maria closed their mouths.

"We need to stop this fighting. We have to get along for this to work. I'm sorry for yelling," Zoey apologized, "but I had to."

"On the contrary, if this plan of yours does indeed work, this is the last time we ever have to see each other until a holiday or something," Noah contradicted, "though I do not look forward to that holiday."

"Me neither," Anne Maria agreed with a frown.

"Okay whatever, let's just agree to try out my idea for at least six weeks?" Zoey asked them.

Noah pondered it then conceded. "Fine," he replied.

Anne Maria eventually conceded as well. They all split and Zoey hoped this would turn out okay. She would most likely be proven wrong...

 **There we go! Please review and I'll see you next time.:)**


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